When Martina contacted me, I was like, uh…I’ve NO IDEA what to talk about. Then I was like: “Did she really mean to contact me? Really?” Then, I was, “well, yes, of course she meant to contact you, because she used your name, dummy.” And that made me think about how I felt when my now agent contacted me to request the full off my partial. Then the offer of representation. The edits. Being on submission. Then the rejection letters. So that…brought me to this.

I don’t know about everyone else, but when I started subbing my very first (and, shh, very BAD) first novel, I had high (and unrealistic) expectations. The book was going to find an agent within a few weeks, then a few more weeks after that I’d have a publishing offer and I’d be published within the year. Uh, yeah…REALITY CHECK! That very rarely happens to even the BEST of books.

So, then, I trunked that novel and wrote another, and another, and finally on that third book I knew I had something special. My crit. partners loved it and so did I. Even when the rejections poured in, I kept subbing, changing things here and there, but then I got THE EMAIL! Yes, it was an email, and not THE CALL. Though I did get one of those, too.

The first was a simple. Hi, I really liked the pages you sent, would you please send the rest? And I was like, “heck yeah I will.” And I started printing it out (she was snail mail only at the time.) and while the rest of the 200 odd pages printed I went into full panic mode. Doubt had set in. Had she really meant to contact me? Well, sure she did. She used my name. But there’s a lot of Jessicas, could have been the wrong person. But she used the name of the book. She meant me.

I finally (a few days later) battled the doubt down, and sent it off. In the meantime, I got THE CALL from a different agent. We talked and I asked questions, etc. Then hung up and promptly emailed Natalie to ask if she hadn’t received the rest by snail mail would she mind if I emailed it because I’d been offered rep by someone else. She responded immediately with a yes, please send and then three days later (over a GRUELING weekend) she emailed again to offer rep.

Again I went through the doubts. Here I’d been subbing for a year (yes, I know a relatively short time) and I now I had to make a decision. Which actually turned out to be pretty easy when I turned the doubts off. I wanted Natalie because she got my book.

So, then I signed and I kept thinking, this is it. I’m really going to be a published author. But in the back of my mind, I kept hearing a voice telling me it was all a mistake. This wasn’t really happening. It was a joke. Or I wasn’t good enough. Look how many rejections I had. The book wasn’t. Any. Good. I should just give up. Save Natalie and me the heartache of not selling.

But I pushed it off to the side and the edits came and I flew through them as I’d already had them plotted out. And then we went on sub about a month after I signed. And then a month after that the rejections came. And I started in with the self-doubts again. But with each one Natalie told me not to worry, it wasn’t the book, she LOVED the book. We’d keep going. So we did.

In the meantime, I gave her another of my books (she loved that one, too) and we edited that, just in case. Then we got good news. An editor LOVED, loved, loved my book and wanted to take it to the ed. board. She just needed to get a second reader to sign off on it and we’d be good to go.

Unfortunately, after almost 6 weeks of fingernail biting and email stalking, the bad news came. The second reader didn’t like it and, therefore, I wasn’t going to the editorial board. But she wanted to see my next one.

I was heartbroken. And again the doubts went through my head. Am I not good enough? Why? And Natalie again reassured me she still loved my work, we’ll just go on sub with my second story.

We did, unfortunately the market is flooded with this kind of story and our timing was off, so… we’re now in edits of my third story. And I’m hoping the third time’s the charm.

As you can see my story is MUCH different than Stephanie Meyers. She was that one in a million shot. Her story is the exception, while mine is more the average. Most writers don’t sell their first books, or even their second. It usually takes YEARS to find an agent and even that’s no guarantee of a sale.

But if you keep at it and don’t lose faith in yourself or your writing, it WILL happen. There are no tips or tricks that will make it sell instantly. The only things that will make it happen is perseverance, hard work, and a healthy dose of luck and good timing.

The publishing process is much like a roller coaster. A wild and exhilarating ride with ups and downs, twists and turns. But if you give into doubts and don’t get on, you’ll never know how great it is.