Guilt is an emotion that most of us have to deal with to some extent but that can be difficult for us as writers to capture on the page. It takes particular finesse to show a young character experiencing and overcoming various degrees of guilt. Today, we’re thrilled to have Rebecca Phillips discussing the process of writing THESE THINGS I’VE DONE, coming August 1st from Harper Teen, and how her main character deals with guilt throughout the novel. Here’s Rebecca!
Creating
Characters Dealing With Guilt
Characters Dealing With Guilt
By Rebecca Phillips
We’ve all experienced guilt and regret to
some extent in our lives. But there’s a huge difference between feeling some regret
over, say, not choosing the right career choice, and debilitating, overwhelming
guilt over something horrible we’ve done by accident.
some extent in our lives. But there’s a huge difference between feeling some regret
over, say, not choosing the right career choice, and debilitating, overwhelming
guilt over something horrible we’ve done by accident.
Dara, the main character in my book These Things I’ve Done, is dealing with
the second type of regret. After accidentally causing the death of her best
friend, she’s mired in guilt that impacts every facet of her life. There’s guilt
stemming from the affect her actions had on her friend Aubrey’s family and
friends. There’s guilt over what she’s done to her own family, who has to watch
her suffer with these feelings. And then there’s survivor guilt, which makes Dara
wonder why she couldn’t have been the one to die instead.
the second type of regret. After accidentally causing the death of her best
friend, she’s mired in guilt that impacts every facet of her life. There’s guilt
stemming from the affect her actions had on her friend Aubrey’s family and
friends. There’s guilt over what she’s done to her own family, who has to watch
her suffer with these feelings. And then there’s survivor guilt, which makes Dara
wonder why she couldn’t have been the one to die instead.
Being in Dara’s head was very challenging.
I had to put myself in her place. How would I feel if I inadvertently caused
someone’s death? Especially the death of someone I loved? Contemplating this
scenario was disturbing and uncomfortable, but writers are well-known for their
active imaginations, so I could picture the scene all too clearly. But I had a
hard time imagining how I’d go on and work toward a place where I could live a
normal life. Is it even possible? Being a teenager is hard enough; living with
this magnitude of guilt on top of all the normal teen problems seems
insurmountable.
I had to put myself in her place. How would I feel if I inadvertently caused
someone’s death? Especially the death of someone I loved? Contemplating this
scenario was disturbing and uncomfortable, but writers are well-known for their
active imaginations, so I could picture the scene all too clearly. But I had a
hard time imagining how I’d go on and work toward a place where I could live a
normal life. Is it even possible? Being a teenager is hard enough; living with
this magnitude of guilt on top of all the normal teen problems seems
insurmountable.
In the present chapters of the book, which
take place about a year after the accident, Dara is basically just surviving. She’s
still wracked with remorse and grief. She goes to therapy. She tries to get
back to some semblance of normalcy, even though she knows her life will never
be the same again. She has to see Ethan, Aubrey’s brother, every day, which
adds more weight to an already heavy burden (for both of them). All Dara wants
to do is atone for her mistake, not just for her own sake but for everyone
else’s sake too.
take place about a year after the accident, Dara is basically just surviving. She’s
still wracked with remorse and grief. She goes to therapy. She tries to get
back to some semblance of normalcy, even though she knows her life will never
be the same again. She has to see Ethan, Aubrey’s brother, every day, which
adds more weight to an already heavy burden (for both of them). All Dara wants
to do is atone for her mistake, not just for her own sake but for everyone
else’s sake too.
Along with her incredible guilt, she also
has to contend with the what ifs.
What if things had happened differently? What if she and Aubrey had never gone
to the place where the accident occurred? This line of thinking can take a real
toll on a person’s mental health, but it’s almost impossible not to wonder. If
only we could go back and do one thing differently, avoiding the moment that
set everything in motion.
has to contend with the what ifs.
What if things had happened differently? What if she and Aubrey had never gone
to the place where the accident occurred? This line of thinking can take a real
toll on a person’s mental health, but it’s almost impossible not to wonder. If
only we could go back and do one thing differently, avoiding the moment that
set everything in motion.
Living with something so huge hanging over
your head, eating at you every day, is beyond intense. Accomplishing this with
Dara’s voice required balance. In the past chapters, she’s an innocent, happy
kid, secure in her belief that nothing bad can ever happen to her or anyone she
loves. In the present chapters, after having witnessed one of the worst
tragedies imaginable, she knows that nothing in life is secure, and happiness
can be snatched away in an instant. The chapters alternate, which meant I had
to change voice and tone depending on which chapter I was writing. This was by
far the most challenging part.
your head, eating at you every day, is beyond intense. Accomplishing this with
Dara’s voice required balance. In the past chapters, she’s an innocent, happy
kid, secure in her belief that nothing bad can ever happen to her or anyone she
loves. In the present chapters, after having witnessed one of the worst
tragedies imaginable, she knows that nothing in life is secure, and happiness
can be snatched away in an instant. The chapters alternate, which meant I had
to change voice and tone depending on which chapter I was writing. This was by
far the most challenging part.
Another challenge was injecting a feeling
of hope into those present chapters, even as Dara struggles with her role in
her best friend’s death. I wanted to show that life does—and will—go on. All
the things that existed before the accident—family, friendship, interests,
love—are still there, waiting to be rediscovered. The pain will never
disappear, but it will eventually start to fade as the days pass, until
finally, you realize you’ve grown strong enough to let go.
of hope into those present chapters, even as Dara struggles with her role in
her best friend’s death. I wanted to show that life does—and will—go on. All
the things that existed before the accident—family, friendship, interests,
love—are still there, waiting to be rediscovered. The pain will never
disappear, but it will eventually start to fade as the days pass, until
finally, you realize you’ve grown strong enough to let go.
ABOUT REBECCA PHILLIPS
Rebecca Phillips has been writing YA since she was a YA herself. She’s the author of:
The JUST YOU series
OUT OF NOWHERE
FAKING PERFECT (Kensington)
ANY OTHER GIRL (Kensington)
THESE THINGS I’VE DONE (HarperTeen, August 1, 2017)
Rebecca lives in beautiful Nova Scotia, Canada with her husband, two children, and one spoiled rotten cat. None of them say “eh” or “aboot.”
Visit Rebecca on her website www.rebeccawritesya.com and on Twitter @RebeccaWritesYA
The JUST YOU series
OUT OF NOWHERE
FAKING PERFECT (Kensington)
ANY OTHER GIRL (Kensington)
THESE THINGS I’VE DONE (HarperTeen, August 1, 2017)
Rebecca lives in beautiful Nova Scotia, Canada with her husband, two children, and one spoiled rotten cat. None of them say “eh” or “aboot.”
Visit Rebecca on her website www.rebeccawritesya.com and on Twitter @RebeccaWritesYA
ABOUT THESE THINGS I’VE DONE
A contemporary YA perfect for fans of Courtney Summers and Jessi Kirby, THESE THINGS I’VE DONE is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl who accidentally caused her best friend’s death and, a year later, is still grappling with the consequences.
Before:
Dara and Aubrey have been inseparable since they became best friends in sixth grade. However, as they begin their sophomore year of high school, cracks in their friendship begin to form, testing the bond they always thought was unbreakable.
After:
It’s been fifteen months since the accident that killed Aubrey, and not a day goes by that Dara isn’t racked with guilt over her role in her best friend’s death. Dara thought nothing could be worse than confronting the memories of Aubrey that relentlessly haunt her, but she soon realizes it isn’t half as difficult as seeing Ethan, Aubrey’s brother, every day. Not just because he’s a walking reminder of what she did, but because the more her feelings for him change, the more she knows she’s betraying her best friend one final time.
Amazon | B&N | Goodreads
Before:
Dara and Aubrey have been inseparable since they became best friends in sixth grade. However, as they begin their sophomore year of high school, cracks in their friendship begin to form, testing the bond they always thought was unbreakable.
After:
It’s been fifteen months since the accident that killed Aubrey, and not a day goes by that Dara isn’t racked with guilt over her role in her best friend’s death. Dara thought nothing could be worse than confronting the memories of Aubrey that relentlessly haunt her, but she soon realizes it isn’t half as difficult as seeing Ethan, Aubrey’s brother, every day. Not just because he’s a walking reminder of what she did, but because the more her feelings for him change, the more she knows she’s betraying her best friend one final time.
Amazon | B&N | Goodreads
