On October
20th, we will be hosting another round of Red Light/Green Light, a writing
competition in which the opening lines of your novel will be judged by an
agent, with a chance at winning agent feedback. Leading up to the contest’s
opening day, we’ve been looking at ways to write openings that really grip a
reader. You can find previous tips and advice here and here.
20th, we will be hosting another round of Red Light/Green Light, a writing
competition in which the opening lines of your novel will be judged by an
agent, with a chance at winning agent feedback. Leading up to the contest’s
opening day, we’ve been looking at ways to write openings that really grip a
reader. You can find previous tips and advice here and here.
Today we’re going to break down two particular
opening passages and explore the methods they use to capture a reader’s attention.
We will look at how both openings
opening passages and explore the methods they use to capture a reader’s attention.
We will look at how both openings
1. Answer questions
and
2. Raise questions
in order to keep readers engaged from page one.
First, let’s take a look at the openings paragraphs
from Anna-Marie McLemore’s THE WEIGHT OF FEATHERS.
from Anna-Marie McLemore’s THE WEIGHT OF FEATHERS.
The
feathers were Lace’s first warning. They showed up between suitcases, in the
trunk of her father’s station wagon, on the handles of came-with-the-car
first-aid kits so old the gauze had yellowed. They snagged on antennas, turning
the local stations to static.
feathers were Lace’s first warning. They showed up between suitcases, in the
trunk of her father’s station wagon, on the handles of came-with-the-car
first-aid kits so old the gauze had yellowed. They snagged on antennas, turning
the local stations to static.
Lace’s
mother found a feather in with the family’s costumes the day they crossed into
Almendro, a town named for almond fields that once filled the air with the
scent of sugary blossoms and bitter wood. But over the last few decades an
adhesive plant had bought out the farms that could not survive the droughts,
and the acres of almonds dwindled to a couple of orchards on the edge of town.
mother found a feather in with the family’s costumes the day they crossed into
Almendro, a town named for almond fields that once filled the air with the
scent of sugary blossoms and bitter wood. But over the last few decades an
adhesive plant had bought out the farms that could not survive the droughts,
and the acres of almonds dwindled to a couple of orchards on the edge of town.
The
wisp of that black feather caught on a cluster of sequins. Lace knew from the
set to her mother’s
wisp of that black feather caught on a cluster of sequins. Lace knew from the
set to her mother’s
eyes that she’d throw the whole mermaid tail in a bucket
and burn it, elastane and all.
and burn it, elastane and all.
1. Answering questions
There a number of questions you need to answer in
your opening paragraphs in order to grab and keep a reader’s attention. Who is
this book about? What sort of a book is it? Where is it set? What’s the central
conflict?
your opening paragraphs in order to grab and keep a reader’s attention. Who is
this book about? What sort of a book is it? Where is it set? What’s the central
conflict?
As you can see above, all these questions are deftly
answered in the first few lines of THE WEIGHT OF FEATHERS. The book is about
Lace, and also about her mother. We can expect that it will be at least
somewhat fantastical, due to the quality of the feathers described, which
appear in odd places and turn radio to static. The book is set in southerly
location, as almond orchards are referenced. And given the strong reaction
Lace’s mother has to the appearance of the feathers, we know that they will in
some way be related to central conflict.
answered in the first few lines of THE WEIGHT OF FEATHERS. The book is about
Lace, and also about her mother. We can expect that it will be at least
somewhat fantastical, due to the quality of the feathers described, which
appear in odd places and turn radio to static. The book is set in southerly
location, as almond orchards are referenced. And given the strong reaction
Lace’s mother has to the appearance of the feathers, we know that they will in
some way be related to central conflict.
Besides just answering questions, however, these
paragraphs do a great job of also
paragraphs do a great job of also
2. Raising questions
What sort of feathers are these? They’re obviously
not regular bird feathers. What do Lace and her mother do that requires being
on the road with costumes, one of which is a mermaid’s tail? Why do the
feathers illicit such a strong negative reaction from Lace’s mom?
not regular bird feathers. What do Lace and her mother do that requires being
on the road with costumes, one of which is a mermaid’s tail? Why do the
feathers illicit such a strong negative reaction from Lace’s mom?
Let’s take a look at another opening passage which does
a great job of creating interest by both answering and raising questions: the
beginning of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE, by Heidi Heilig.
a great job of creating interest by both answering and raising questions: the
beginning of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE, by Heidi Heilig.
It
was the kind of August day that hinted at monsoons, and the year was 1774,
though not for much longer. I was in the crowded bazaar of a nearly historical
version of Calcutta, where my father had abandoned me.
was the kind of August day that hinted at monsoons, and the year was 1774,
though not for much longer. I was in the crowded bazaar of a nearly historical
version of Calcutta, where my father had abandoned me.
He
hadn’t abandoned me for good–not yet. He’d only gone back to the ship to make
ready for the next leg of the journey: twentieth-century New York City. It was
at our final destination, however, where he hoped to unmake the mistakes of his
past.
hadn’t abandoned me for good–not yet. He’d only gone back to the ship to make
ready for the next leg of the journey: twentieth-century New York City. It was
at our final destination, however, where he hoped to unmake the mistakes of his
past.
Mistakes
like me, perhaps.
like me, perhaps.
He
never said as much, but his willingness to leave me behind was plain: here I
was, alone, haggling for a caladrius with a pitiful amount of silver in my
palm. Part of me wondered whether he’d care if I returned at all, as long as
the mythological bird was returned to the ship.
never said as much, but his willingness to leave me behind was plain: here I
was, alone, haggling for a caladrius with a pitiful amount of silver in my
palm. Part of me wondered whether he’d care if I returned at all, as long as
the mythological bird was returned to the ship.
1. Answering Questions
The beginning of THE GIRL FROM EVERYWHERE answers
the same basic questions every introduction must in order to orient the reader.
Who is the book about? Well, we don’t know the narrator’s name yet, but we know
she’s young, and lives/works aboard a ship. What sort of book is this? We can
tell by the references to time travel and mythological creatures that this is a
fantasy. What’s the setting? We would assume the ship, and various destinations
our narrator will travel to. Central conflict? It looks as if the narrator’s
troubled relationship with her father will be important to the story, and her
uncertainty of where she stands with him.
the same basic questions every introduction must in order to orient the reader.
Who is the book about? Well, we don’t know the narrator’s name yet, but we know
she’s young, and lives/works aboard a ship. What sort of book is this? We can
tell by the references to time travel and mythological creatures that this is a
fantasy. What’s the setting? We would assume the ship, and various destinations
our narrator will travel to. Central conflict? It looks as if the narrator’s
troubled relationship with her father will be important to the story, and her
uncertainty of where she stands with him.
2. Raising Questions
There are plenty of questions raised by this
introductory passage. Why/how are the characters able to time travel? Why does
the narrator consider herself to be one of her father’s mistakes? How does he
plan to undo his past mistakes, and what were they? Why would he want to abandon
his daughter? What sort of business does the crew of the ship conduct, that
they’d be taking on mythological creatures as part of their cargo?
introductory passage. Why/how are the characters able to time travel? Why does
the narrator consider herself to be one of her father’s mistakes? How does he
plan to undo his past mistakes, and what were they? Why would he want to abandon
his daughter? What sort of business does the crew of the ship conduct, that
they’d be taking on mythological creatures as part of their cargo?
As you can see, part of creating interest for a
reader in your opening paragraphs is not just answering questions in order to
orient them, but also bringing up new questions, which they will want to read
on to find answers to.
reader in your opening paragraphs is not just answering questions in order to
orient them, but also bringing up new questions, which they will want to read
on to find answers to.
Happy revising, and best of luck in our upcoming contest!
